#the way he’s just standing there too… insert patrick quote… MENACINGLY

[gothsuguru]

@teddybeartoji @staryukis @mossmurdock @mikichko @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @hayakawalove @jel-lyy

“Exorcise. Consume. For whom?”

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers Toy Story!AU

Or, *cough* a way for me to write out a buncha funny Incorrect Quotes and smoosh two things I love together.

Woody: Jason Voorhees

Buzz Lightyear: Michael Myers

Jessie: Ghostface

Prospector/Stinky Pete: Roman Bridger

Bo Peep and Ham: Freddy Krueger

Mr Potato Head: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray

Mrs Potato Head: Tiffany Valentine

Slinky: Carrie White

Rex: Bubba Sawyer

Barbie: Jennifer Check

Ken: Patrick Bateman

Lotso-'O'-Huggin' Bear: Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt. Was gonna be Bo, but Hoyt just fits way better. Plus he has Thomas.

Chuckles: Monty

Big Baby: Thomas hewitt

The Chatter Telephone: Luda Mae Hewitt

Also, Sunnydale Daycare: Ambrose. Because why not.

*I'm thing the kids in Toy Story are the fanbase and creators of the Slashers in this AU. Like, Andy and Bonnie are the original creators that make up the canon stuff and created them to be the infamous characters we all know- and Sid is us fan-people that twist and distort the characters for our own pleasure, haha XD *

An abundance of Incorrect Quotes bellow the cut!

Chucky: *With all the features on his face mismatched*

Chucky: Hey Freddy, look! I'm Picasso!

Freddy: ... yeah, I don't get it. *Leaves*

Chucky: *what... * You uncultured swine!! *Shakes his fist at Freddy's retreating back. That was a good fucking joke, goddamn.*

~

Michael: *Writing down on whiteboard:* Excuse me... I think the word you're searching for is

THE SHAPE.

Jason: *Already so done with this edgy boy's bullshit*

Jason: *Moves attention to his own whiteboard, starts writing*

Jason: *Shows board*

NO. The word I'm 'searching for', I cant say, because there are preschool toys present.

*Gestures ferociously to Carrie and Bubba.*

~

Jason: *Ughhhh. Shows board that he frantically wrote on:* Its not a KNIFE! Its a little stick of plastic!!

Freddy: What's wrong with him??

Chucky: Knife envy~

Freddy: Ah been there

~

Jason and Michael: *Watching Dr Loomis give psychology advice*

Jason and Michael: *Slowly tilting their heads sceptically, in unison*

Michael: *Holds up board for Jason to read:* ... I don't think that man has ever been to medical school.

~

Jason: *Trying to get Michael to help him. Writes passive aggressively on board and shoves the thing in Michael's view:* Would you give me a hand!???

Michael: *Fucking slices his own arm off and chucks it at Jason*

Look, he's having a bad day...

~

Freddy: *Sneaks up on Jason and digs his fingers into the giants sides*

Jason: *Whips around and cracks Freddy in the face from shock*

Jason: *Realises its just Freddy as the other groans and holds his nose, and looks a little guilty. Oh, Freddy. Writes on board and shows him:* There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.

Freddy: Agh- Fucking- Merry Christmas, hockey puck!

Jason: *Catches sight of something above them, tilts his head. Writes and shows board:* Isn't that mistletoe?

Freddy: *A slow, creepy grin rips across his face* Yep.

~ Toy Stoy 2~

Jason: *Frantically holding up a board:* Michael! I was a yo-yo!

Freddy and Chucky: *Look at each other*

Chucky: 'Was'?

~

*Michael and the others watching a dude try to buy Jason and failing.*

Michael: *Thinking: Mm, now just walk away.*

Man: *Follows after where Jason went.*

Michael: *Thinking: ... the other way.*

~

*After Jason has been stolen- everyone is panicking*

Michael: *Stomping his foot, trying to gather these psychopaths' attentions. Wait a minute! Wait, hold on! When he semi has their attention, he shows a piece of paper with writing on it:* This is not time to be hysterical.

Freddy: Its the perfect time to be hysterical.

Bubba: *Gasp. Should we be hysterical!?*

Carrie: *Tries to calm Bubba down, a hand on his arm and voice gentle* No-

Chucky: Yes.

Michael: *Thinking: ... well, maybe*

~

Freddy: Give this to Jason when you find him

Freddy: *SMACKS MICHAEL UPSIDE THE HEAD*

Michael: ... *Holds up board* Alright. But I don't think it'll mean the same thing coming from me.

~

Freddy: *Up ahead* Hey guys! Why did the toys cross the road!?

Michael: *But rolls his eyes. Not now bacon bits.*

Bubba: *Perks up and waives. Oh! He loves riddles. Why?*

Freddy: To get to the chicken... on the other side!

*They all look out and celebrate, seeing where Jason was being kept hostage... but then realise how dangerous getting across will be as a giant fricken truck careens by and crushes a can the same size as them*

Bubba: ... *Promptly turns around and starts walking back the way they came. Oh well. We tried-*

Michael: *Grabs Bubba back*

~

Jennifer: I can help! I'm Tour Guide Jen!

Jennifer: Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography! Thanks.

Chucky: -I'm a married man, I'm married man, I'm married man-

Freddy: *Shoves Chucky out of the way* Then make room for the single fellas.

~

Michael: *Ugh. Writes on board:* They're on level 23.

Carrie: How are we gonna get up there?

Bubba: *Gestures to balloons, then up to the sky. Meaning: Maybe if we find some balloons, we could float to the top!*

Chucky: Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom, and pretend we're delivering a pizza.

Freddy: How bout a roast? *Grins*

Freddy: *Assesses Chucky and Carrie in turn* With tenderised pig and a slaughtered lamb as sides.

Chucky: Hold the fuck up did you just call me a pig- and a side-

Carrie: What?

Bubba: Oh! Oh! *Pats his chest excitedly. Do him! What about me??*

Freddy: ... Eh, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.

~

*Michael does something to get them all hurt and doesn't to care at all, of course. Just moves on.*

Chucky: Remind me to glue his mask on his head when we get back.

Freddy: *Nods, yep*

~

Chucky:*Embracing Tiffany after having been away saving Jason*

Glen and Glenda: You saved our lives! We're eternally grateful!

Chucky: Oh, fuck...

Tiffany: You saved their lives, Chucky?? Oh, my hero.

Tiffany: *Immediately drops Chucky in favour of picking up the babies* And they're adorable! Lets adopt them!

Chucky: *Thinking: What? No- Absolutely not- Don't say tha-*

Glen and Glenda: Daaaaddy!

Chucky: Fuck.

~Toy Story 3~

Jason: *Holds up a sign as he stands there menacingly with his machete:* You got a date with justice, Charles.

Chucky: Heh, too bad, 'sheriff'. I'm a married man.

Tiffany: *Comes out screaming, wielding goddamn nun chucks*

~

Michael: *Eyes narrow behind mask, slowly holds up sign he prepared earlier:* Bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

Freddy: Hah. That's Mr Bastard son of a hundred maniacs, to you!

~

*The toys/Slashers watch some toys, including Jennifer and her car get thrown in the donation bin*

Ghostface: Oh, man, poor Jen.

Freddy: ... I get the corvette.

~

Tiffany: Its alright, Jen, it'll be okay.

Jennifer: Well... Needy and I have been growing apart for a while...

Jennifer: Its just... I cant believe she would kill me!

Chucky: *Who's 'best friend till the end'/victim also killed him* Yeah. Welcome to the club, toots.

~

Hoyt: They just love new toys, don't they?

Chucky: Love!? We've been chewed, kicked, drooled on-

Tiffany: Just look at my nails!

Hoyt: ... Hm. Well, here's the thing, sweetheart. You aint leavin' Ambrose.

Tiffany: *Thinking: Oh fuck no he did not just- * Sweetheart!? Who do you think you're talking to!? I have over 10 kills, and I deserve more respec-

Hoyt: *Covers Tiffany's mouth with his hand* Ah, that's better.

Chucky: *Thinking: I'm going to fuck this douche up- * Hey, no one takes my wife's mouth. *Shoves Hoyt back off her by the chest* 'Cept me.

~

*Hoyt and Thomas bring Chucky back from 'The Box'. He's more fucked up looking then usual, sand all through his hair and stuck to his plastic features. He shakes it out of his pockets.*

Tiffany: *Gasp* Sweetheart!

Chucky: Eugh... it was cold. And dark. Nothin' but sand and a couple of Lincoln logs.

Freddy: Ehhh... I don't think those were Lincoln logs.

~

Ghostface: I was wrong...

Chucky:

Chucky: Ghostface is right. He was wrong.

~

Jennifer: *Fake cries*

~

Chucky: *Slaps a Pidgeon*

~

*Trying to reset Michael back to his former settings/self (The one that knows them and therefore will maybe-perhaps-possibly not kill them*

Freddy: Oh- oh- oh, here we go. there should be a little hole under the switch.

Jason: *Little hole little hold little hole- Nods. Got it!*

Freddy: To reset your Michael Myers action figure, insert paper clip-

Jason: *Sharply turns to Bubba, urging him to put his finger in the hole quickly*

Freddy: Caution; Do not hold button for more then five seconds...

Michael: *Suddenly stops thrashing and goes slack*

Everyone: ...

Bubba: *Jumps off him, holding up his hands. Its not my fault!!*

~

Michael, on Spanish Mode: *Gives Jason two sweet kisses on either cheek*

Jason: *Awkwardly, slowly holds up sign:* We gotta switch him back.

~

Ghostface: Oh! Mikey!!

Michael, still on Spanish Mode: *Sees Ghostface*

Michael: *Drops to his knees, gathers up Ghostface's hand*

Michael: *Looks up at Ghostface in utter awe and admiration*

Ghostface: *Freaken freaked out. Shouldn't he be the creepy one in this outfit? Leans away* Uhh... did you fix Michael?

Freddy: Uh, sorta. I mean I for one think this is a huge improvement.

~

Michael, STILL on Spanish Mode: *Does a dance of feelings around Ghostface, wanting to express himself*

Ghostface: What- why- please stop I'm gonna pee myself- Of laughter or fear I have no idea but I WILL PEE

Michael: *Grabs and dips Ghostface, and holds up a sign* We will be the most famous killers in history, together.

Ghostface: *Thinking: Oh I can get behind that, hell yeah- *

Jason: *Arrives*

Ghostface: Oh- *Scrambles out of Michaels hold* JASE!

Michael: *Watches them move on together* *Throws down the sign*

Freddy: I suddenly feel disgusting, like... I somehow ended up in some kinda... love-square, of some kind...

~

Jason: *Nicely gestures for Michael to give him some help*

Michael, stillllllll on Spanish mode: *Sniffs his nose at Jason's hand, shoving him out of the way with one arm like no thank you.*

~

Jennifer: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed. Not from the threat of force! // Or, alternatively which I think fits a whole lot better- // I am not going to stand back here and let another fucking old white guy tell me what the fuck to do!

Chucky and Freddy, two old white guys: *Look at each other*

Chucky:

Freddy:

Chucky and Freddy: *Shrug*

And that's it seeing as I don't really wanna see Toy Story 4. I hope you enjoyed this silly thing with me at least a little XD

Okay so I got a little attached in the end.